When I first spoke to Emily last week, we talked about what kind of contact with the baby and me she would want in the future and she was a little cagey in her response, I think because I had told her that I would like her to remain "involved" if only for the baby's sake (when it's old enough to have a sake). Today she told me that she hoped I wasn't too disappointed, but that she really didn't think she wanted any involvement at all except maybe an occasional picture.
It was a little sad to hear, but not very surprising. I think she has wanted to move past this pregnancy for a while and she wants it behind her. And even though I think her situation is bad (religious family, won't accept her pregnancy, father of the baby has rejected her and the baby), she has great optimism for her future, but it is a future without this baby.
And that, I'm sad/glad to say is good for me. Every time I talk to her I am more and more convinced that she genuinely likes me and wants to do this great thing for me (and for the baby) while also wanting her life back in her own hands again.
It's really one of the challenges about this for me: I want to be happy for me, but I also can't help feeling for her plight all the while hoping that this truly is in this child's best interest. Well, of course it is! Just ask my mother...
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